what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
