He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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