you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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