Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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