I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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