Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
