I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
