who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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