Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
