Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
