if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
