i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Randomize
