I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
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