Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
