i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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