I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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