just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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