Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize