Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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