Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
