Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize