Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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