Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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