can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
