You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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