dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You pole danced in your parka.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
