it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
