White coat. Heels.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
