U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize