you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
