"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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