Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
