I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
