we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you will always have a special place in my vag
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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