He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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