youre lurking in front of me
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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