U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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