he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
