Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
