don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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