Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I AM VODKA MAN
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
