At least make sure they are 18
Why
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
