she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
