Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
