I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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