sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
