she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
