My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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