I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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