I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
