i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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