Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Send help, water and tortillas.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize