Where did you get a picture of my penis
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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