I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
