hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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