Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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