WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
