I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
