just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
