is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
