What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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