i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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