I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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